I found it a little odd that this advertisement was running on my local cable TV
service:

    A pale white guy (PWG) and an attractive lady of indeterminate
    ethnicity (ALIE) are standing in front of a table holding two
    satellite dishes, one with the DirecTV logo and the other with the
    Dish Network logo.

    PWG:        When we considered getting a satellite dish we 
                thought it would be quick and easy.

    ALIE:       Then we learned we had to make a lot of decisions.
                Like which service to get?

    PWG:        With what equipment, what programming packages, 
                at what price, for how many rooms...

    ALIE:       There were so many choices... we were confused!

    (She reaches for brochure lying on the table.)

    PWG:        Until we got this helpful brochure from the
                Satellite Entertainment Information Center.

    (Brochure cover reads: The Practical Guide to Choosing A Satellite System
     -- 9th Edition.  The cover closely resembles the "Handbook for the
     Recently Deceased" from Beetlejuice.)

                It tells you everything you need to know and
                best of all...

    ALIE:       It's free.

    PWG:        So... If you're confused and want help, 
                call 1-888-DISH-HELP.

    ALIE:       That's 1-888-DISH-HELP.

    Text on screen reads: Call Now for your Free Guide 1-888-DISH-HELP Toll Free)

I googled the phone number and found a website which reveals that the purpose of the DISH-HELP service is
to rat you out to the cable company,
so they can call you and try to keep you from defecting. I decided to
order a copy of the brochure to see what’s inside, so I called the number.

A perky young lady answered, and took my name and address. She promised
right away that the information I was providing would not be sold or provided
to satellite companies (duh!).

After taking my address she promised that the brochure would arrive in 2-3 weeks.
Then she asked if I would take a short survey, saying that the information would
be provided to “other media companies” (hmmm, I wonder which ones?) but would
not be sold or provided to satellite companies.

The questions on the survey were:

• How many TVs are in your house? I said “thirty.”
• How likely are you to switch to Satellite? I said “somewhat likely.”
• Reason for switching to satellite? I said “The service my cable provider has is not very good.”
• How disatisfied are you with your cable company on a scale of 1-5? I said “somewhat disatisfied.”
• Who is your cable provider? I told them.

Again, I was told the brochure would arrive in 2-3 weeks. Needless to say, this gives the
cable company plenty of time to try and retain me as a customer. I’m expecting a call from them
any minute now…

This entry was posted on Friday, September 16th, 2005 at 6:37 pm and is filed under Linkydinks. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.